The WWE meets the SSBB
by smash fanatic
Summary: One of Master Hands trinkets causes the Smashers to change entirely. He tries to fix it but ends up creating two versions of most of the Smashers. WWE x SSBB crossover. Irrelevent ammounts of yaoi. First story in the Super Smash Chronicals.
1. Chapter 1

This fanfic will only last for three chapters. I really like both the WWE and Brawl and I have always wondered which wrestlers were most like the Smash brothers. Neither the WWE or SSBB belong to me, they belong to the Mchamons (sp?) and Nintendo respectively. With that out of the way, lets start the show.

* * *

Master Hand has gathered all of the Smashers into the meeting room to discuss the next addition in the tier list. The tier list only applies to the game version of the Brawl tournament so most of the Smashers look uninterested in participating in the discussion. They are only there because Master Hand ordered them to be there. The discussion has not actually started yet as Crazy Hand has yet to return with the tier list document, so everyone there, including Master Hand, looks bored out of their minds.

"Where is your idiot brother Hand. I want conformation that I am the reigning Mushroom Kingdomer in this tournament so I can laugh at the idiot Mario Brothers as they wallow in their self pity whereas I gloat in my excellence. Mwahahahahahaha," cackled Bowser.

"And yet, I-a beat you in everyone of our encounters," countered Mario.

"I owned you in Paper Mario. You just cheated by using the stars to help you at the end."

"Hey, you-a used the star rod to-a become invincible. You-a cheated first."

"Hey, I'm evil, so I get villians privledge to cheat."

"I agree with that logic," commented Dedede. "As king, I deserve to have hundreds of minions to clobba dat der Kirbeh."

"True fighters use their own strength to vanquish their enemies. They do not rely on others to do their dirty work for them," said Meta Knight.

"Hey, you had minions fight for you in Revenge of Meta Knight." Dedede then pointed over to Ike, Marth, and Olimar. "That goes double for you, you strategy genre losers. There are a hundred reasons on why I am better than you one being that I was at least a boss, unlike you pansies."

"First of all Dedede, I was a boss in one chapter of Radiant Dawn. Secondly, I, along with Marth, Olimar, and even Meta Knight, fight with our soldiers on the front lines, watching their backs as they watch ours. You however, sacrifice yours to the eating machine, while sitting on your cushy throne eating like a fat pig," spoke Ike.

"First of all son, I am alloted that priveledge on the grounds that I am king, one that is too intelligent to be overthrown unlike a certain princess," said Dedede looking over at Marth. "Secondly, even if you were a boss, I am easily twenty times the boss you are and I even consider those numbers an insult to someone of my stature.

"And pretty boy teen swordsmen like you do not have the authority to insult the pig, the most intelligent of all creatures who are not one of the greatest villians in videogame history," snarked Ganondorf getting approval from Dedede, Bowser, and Wario.

"What does being "a pretty boy teen swordsman" have to do with anything ganonjerk?", asked Link.

"It has everything to do with my comment. Your kind, along with the entire JRPG genre, needs to die in a horrible fire of death. Male teen swordsman are the second lowest form of life on this planet, next to pedophiles."

"Though I and-a everyone here agrees with-a your snap at those-a waste of human life, there is-a no reason why the Paper Mario series needs to-a die."

"Yeah, and that goes double for the Mother series," commented Ness.

"I really was not talking about your series, I was referring to crap like Star Ocean: The Last Hope, Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World, Final Fantasy VII, and that Kid Icarus or whatever."

"Kid Icarus is a platformer Ganondumb," snarked Falco.

"You would not think that looking at him," said Ganondorf pointing at Pit. Pit just stuck his tounge at the lord of evil.

"Don't be bothered by that fool Pit-kun," said Marth imbracing his angel in a hug.

"Thank you my adorable prince," said Pit bringing his head next to Marth's.

"Won't you two get a room, I cannot stand your sappiness," said Samus, revolted. She then turned to Ike and Link. "Why don't you two act all sissy and vulnerable like your two friends there?"

"Because Ike and I are manly," said Link as some people in the group snickered. "Hey, it's true. We are not going to be victims of fangirl yaoi!"

"If I recall correctly, the gods deemed you low tier on the manliness tier list," said Falcon as he was ponting at his left bicep. "THIS is why I am safe from the yaoi curse. You two wished you had my muscles to protect you," said Falcon flexing his bicep.

"First of all, you were the one who created that stupid tier list. Second, I did have muscle, but for some reason I lost them in the transition to Brawl. Why was that Master Hand?"

"Mostly because Falcon will be the only character in Brawl to have well toned muscles. Sorry, rules of senority and all that.

"You forget me stupid hand. I am the strongest here bar none and all of you here know it," proclaimed Ganondorf.

"The three of you guys are forgetting my uncle Donkey Kong here. Comparing you guys to him would be like comparing Superman to a female wireframe."

"Are you implying the female wireframe is the weaker wireframe, because last time I checked, they had the skills to survive," said Samus.

"Obviously, the female wireframe is the weaker one simply because the male wireframe was based upon my moveset," said Falcon. "The only reason the female wireframe survived more was because they were smart enough to not get in the way of the Falcon."

"So you just implied your stupid?", asked Snake.

"Of course I didn't. I am just saying that the weaker females stayed out of the way of the men while they--"

"Got their butts kicked for being lame," taunted Sonic as a few of the others laughed.

"If you had an alloy or wire frame based off of you, they would be even more pathetic than the male wireframes/red alloy," said Falcon.

"Hey, I will not have anyone copying me. Speedy hedgehog is my thing."

"Is this-a before or after Shadow, Silver, and-a all of-a those lame recollered "original characters" found in-a most Sonic fanfiction?", replied Mario as most of the Smashers laughed.

"Says the guy who had himself in a doctor's outfit as a separate character in Melee."

"Hey, no bringing up those useless clones from Melee. There was a reason I kicked them to the curve."

"Mewtwo was a useless clon....well technically, he was, but he did not deserve to be removed," Pikachu commented.

"Do I have to be reminded of that everytime one of these meetings occur?", asked Master Hand rhetorically.

"No one outside from Pokemon cares about bottom tier, faliure villain. The real topic on everyone's mind is how I am the strongest and manliest person in Brawl," interuppted Ganondorf.

"Your right Ganondorf, nobody cares about bottom tier, faliure villians such as yourself. So do us a favor and shut up," snapped Pikachu.

"I will crush you under my foot of pure evil if you don't be quiet, tiny mouse."

"None of us are scared of someone who was bottom tier in the last tier list," commented Jigglypuff.

"That is precisely why I am here, to make sure that mistake is fixed and I ascend to the top of this list as well as to make sure I am above all of the swordsman, especially the fairy boys."

"Ganon, your just mad because you will be the only villian here to be below his arch nemesis in the upcoming tier list," commented Wolf.

"At least I'm not below some idiot, loud-mouthed bird."

"Uhh, you ARE below me dumbass," replied Falco as all of the smashers laughed at the tyrant's stupidity.

".........Uhh, nobody outsmarts the King of Evil! Be lucky I only have to wait a few more minutes until idiot hand comes back with the second tier list." Ganondorf then turned to Master Hand. "Speaking of him, where is he?"

"Honestly, I don't know. He might be distracted with the knick-knacks in the basement closet again. I'll just send someone to go get him." He turned to Red and his Pokemon. "Squirtle and Ivysaur, you two are the search and rescue party."

"Why do we have to go?", asked Squirtle.

"Because in the event that Crazy comes back without you two, Red and Charizard can fill you in on what happens later. Plus, I am sure your team is only one entry on the tier list so it is not impartive that you two be present."

"What!? We don't get our individual spots in the tier list again?", whined Ivysaur.

"No you guys don't. Now GO!!", said Master Hand as he pointed to the east exit where Ivysaur and Squirtle left the room mumbling under their breath. "So what do you guys want to do to pass the time?"

"We finish that discussion on how much manlier I am than the rest of you," suggested Falcon wlile flexing.

"The fact that I have explosives and a beard makes me just as manly as you if not moreso," said Snake.

"The fact I am-a filthy rich and-a put small businesses out of-a business in the name of-a Charles Darwin makes me-a manlier than-a you two," said Wario.

"If you are going to mention Charles Darwin Wario, than I have this discussion in the bag as I am the apex of animal life in the Kongo Jungle," added DK.

"Well I am king, so by birth right, I am the manliest," added Dedede.

"Hey! I'm king too," exclaimed Bowser.

"As well as I," added Ganondorf.

"Well, I'm a prince. Does that count for anything?", asked Marth.

"Nope," said Crazy Hand before anyone else could insult Marth as he was entering through the west entrance.

"Brother, what were you doing this entire time?", demanded Master Hand.

"Well, I was looking for the tier list, and I found it by the way", as Crazy Hand was shown dropping a piece of parchment inbetween his pinky finger and ring finger. "But I also found this blue crystal with a white W with a red underline inscribed on it."

"Let-a me see it!", demanded Wario as he quickly snatched the crystal from Crazy Hand before Master Hand could react.

"Wario, give that back! It is one of my personality crystals I made a while back before the tournament. They will change the personality of any mortal," warned Master Hand.

"Change-a your personality. This will-a be worth Three-hundred thousand-a coins on-a Ebay and-a......" began Wario before he fellinto a trance like state.

"Wario, come back here and give me my crystal back," ordered Master Hand, but his demands fell on deaf ears as Wario, still in his trance like state, walked over to Lucas.

"Umm...uh...may I....uh..help you?", asked Lucas. All Wario did was smirk as he smashed the crystal into Lucas's face. As the crystal shattered, the entire room and everyone in it was enveloped in a bright light that came from the destroyed crystal. As the light dissipated and everyone could see again, it was clear to everyone that Lucas was POed.

"What was that for you idiot? You could of sent me home with permanent injuries! AAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! I have glass in my left eye!" Lucas then threw a left punch into Wario's jaw. Wario still stood there holding his cheek in mild discomfort but otherwise mostly okay. Wario just smirked.

"Kid suddenly grew a backbone. It's strange, you exhibited the traits of a weakling when I shoved that crystal in your face, but now you seem to have grown a pair." Ness quickly came in and pulled Lucas away from Wario.

"You need to get out of here Wario," warned Ness. "Only I am going to do something like that to this faliure," proclaimed Ness as he started beating up the poor defensless Lucas. Meta Knight came over and kicked Ness in the back of the head which caused the assailant to fall foward and quickly flee as he was getting up as Meta Knight stared at Ness while attending to Lucas.

"Someone should seriously beat that ego driven fool silly. I guess that should be me since no one else is standing up to the plate unless you have objections mysterious floating hand guy," said Ike.

"Yes I do have objections. Wario and Ness, apologize for hurting Lucas," ordered Master Hand. Ness and Wario looked at him like he was insane or just out of his mind.

"You are kidding right? I don't care if you are some idiot giant hand, we are not kids, we are adults and we will be treated as such," said Marth as he got nods from everyone else. "Especially me as I am the most gifted leader here."

"Son, I run a multi-million dollar empire. I am a more fit leader than you will ever be in your entire life," said Dedede. "So if anything, I should be in charge."

"Look, I am in charge and it will stay like that. I created Super Smash Bros. and as such I am the leader. Do you all get it?

"Are you an idiot or something? I won't ever follow somebody who tell me to apologize. Sure you make the matches here, but you better learn fast that you are treading on thin lines with your authoritarian attitude. I will leave this place right now if you don't get your act together and I assume everyone else here will do the same," said DK getting nods of approval from everyone of the other smashers.

"If I knew the personality crystals would make the Smashers more annoying than before, I would have never made them.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU PSYCHOTIC MENTAL PATIENT!?!?!", said Wolf rather rudely.

"Okay, THAT IS IT!!!", said Master Hand as he snapped his fingers and all of the Smashers fell into a deep trance. Soon a light formed around each of the Smashers for a few moments before splitting with them and materializing into an exact replica right next to each of them.

"What are the consequences for what I have just done?", asked Master Hand to himself. The 74 Smashers turned to their counterpart. Apon seeing themselves, every single Smashers (except for the two Lucases who were still in pain) screamed loudley enough to break the sound barrier. They were arguing with their other self for 5 minutes before they turned to Master Hand and most of them started to charge him in an angry mob. Master Hand protected himself with a force field until the Smashers tired themselves out. Master Hand then eviserated the force field surrounding him to attempt to take control of the situation. "Only one of you will speak at a time. I want to retain order in this room at all costs."

"What-a was that-a crystal thing that-a changed our-a personalities?", asked a rather POed Mario.

"Well, that was one of my personality crystals. I copied the souls of 35 people that were part of a famous or somewhat known group who all knew each other and held the copied souls in a crystal. I encoded each soul to have the same spritual energy as each of you so that the appropriate one could take over your body in the case of an emergency."

"And define emergency," asked Samus.

"An emergency in my opinion was that the crystals were to be used was when you guys were so dysfunctional that you threatened each others lives and/or my tournament.

"Wouldn't psychology be more of an option in a case like that. Hell, even Wolfie was smart enough to take psychology before a match with The Under...ehhh....Ganondorf and he is the third biggest S.O.B. after yours truly and my father in-law," said Snake 2.

"Oh real funny Snake. You won't be laughing when I finally destroy those pitiful legs of yours for good and send you home to face your children as you tell them that I was the one who took your career from you!!!!", yelled Wolf 2 as Snake 2 got in his face after that comment.

"Alright calm down you two. Stop acting like you are actually.....whoever's personality corresponds to the personality crystal that was broken and released you guys."

"You seriously don't know which crystal they are from? How many of them did you freakin' make?", asked Falco.

"Not that many. It is very hard to find 35 people who are part of the same group and all have some accquantinship with each other. I had only made two crystals thus far, one coresponding to the WWE wrestlers and one corresponding to the units in the Tellius arc of Fire Emblem."

"What in the hell is Fire Emblem?", said almost every person in the 2nd group of Smashers. Most of the group one Smashers laughed at Marth and Ike.

"Your series is really obscure. Quite a contrast to the excellent and popular Pikmin," said Olimar.

"All strategy games are obscure short stack. Only the gems are revered by the masses like Kirby Superstar which stared yours truly," said Dedede.

"I played Kirby Superstar and Kirby was the main character, you were some small villian if I remember," said Pokemon Trainer 2 which infuriated King Dedede. "But seriously, what is Fire Emblem?

"I only played Fire Emblem Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn, but I remember them as the games where yaoi fangirls get most of their ideas from as the games' dialouge is mostly composed of gay swordsman wanting to make out with each other and professing their love, especially that gay twerp Ike over their," said Ganondorf laughing and pointing over to the group 2 Ike who got enraged beyond belief and ran over to the King of Evil and lifted him up by the neck looking to strangle him.

"If you EVER make false accusations about my sextuality again, I will break EVERY bone in your ****ing body!! You won't have to worry about making it to the hospital when I am done with you!!!", said Ike 2 in the point of rage.

"Help.......me...," weakly said the Lord of all Evil.

"So I think we can assume they are the WWE personalities," said Zelda.

"Pretty much. Not only does Ikey never get that intense due to the fear of growing wrinkles and crow's feet at an accelerated pace, but there are actually references to the name Fire Emblem in our games," said Marth.

"You know, seeing Ike over their strangle the "King of Evil" makes me impressed with your crystal idea," said Snake. "I assume you would have had a way to make only certain Smashers here affected by them and not the others?"

"Thanks Snake. It feels nice to be complemented for once. And you were also right as I had a way to-"

"Ike over here is-a killing Ganondorf. You need to-a help him as I am too busy flexing my muscles to help-a him," said Luigi 2 looking somewhat nervous.

"Oh, yeah." Master Hand shot a missle at Ike 2 which knocked him into the wall.

"...You...w..will....pay...," said Ganondorf before he fainted.

"With that settled, which one of the WWE wrestlers corresponds to us and why don't we remember which ones they are or even being them?", asked Captain Falcon 2.

"Here is a list on who you guys are based off of. And I will alter your mind so you reffer to each other as such as opposed to the Smashers who your are physically based off of. And don't make complaints about me altering your mind because I will just ignore them. Here is the list projected onto this wide screen TV:

Mario: Shawn Micheals

Luigi: Santion Marella

Peach: Kelly Kelly

Bowser: Mark Henry

Link: Chris Jericho

Zelda: Michelle McCool

Ganondorf: The Undertaker

Toon Link: The Brian Kendrick

Yoshi: The Great Khali

Donkey Kong: The Big Show

Diddy Kong: Kofi Kingston

Wario: Mike Knox

Samus/Zero Suit Samus: Beth Pheonix

Pit: Christian

Ice Climbers: Tyson Kid & Natalyia

R.O.B.: Vladimir Kozlov

Pikachu: Jaime Noble

Jigglypuff: Jillian Hall

Lucario: CM Punk

Pokemon Trainer: Random Jobber named Todd

Charizard: Kane

Squirtle & Ivysaur: They were not actually in the room when the light was shinning so their respective souls must have evaporated by now

Fox: John Morrison

Falco: MVP

Wolf: Randy Orton

Kirby: Evan Bourne

Meta Knight: Rey Mysterio

King Dedede: JBL

Olimar: Finlay

Lucas: Jeff Hardy

Ness: Matt Hardy

Ike: John Cena

Marth: Edge

Mr. Game & Watch: Ric Flair

Captain Falcon: Batista

Snake: Triple H

Sonic: The Miz

"Are you-a serious Master Hand? What made-a you think I have anything in-a common with-a Shawn Micheals?", asked Mario.

"Well I am the Showstopper and you just happen to be the most famous and lucrative asset to your company. It was an obvious fit," said HBK-Mario.

"For now old man for I the Brian..............WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY VOICE!?! It is like I am still in puberty!!", exclaimed Kendrick-Toon Link.

"You sound like that because you are a punk kid and should be quiet and sit in the corner while the grown-ups talk," said HHH-Snake.

"Hey, you may have a personality based off of Triple H, but you need to learn your place. Us kids are well respected members of the Super Smash Bros. organization," said Ness.

"I am not a kid. I am one of the most talented members of the WWE."

"Sorry, but you kinda are a kid compared to most of us here," said Rey Mysterio-Meta Knight.

"Your one to talk. You have a family and kids and yet you are as short as me," said Kendrick-Toon Link.

"At least I did not get owned by Kane in two minutes."

"All you short people are good for are punching bags to vent my rage and sadism," said Kane-Charizard.

"You may have owned Kendrick, Chavo, and Noble in record time, but some of us small guys held our own against you or even beat you," said Bourne-Pit.

"Hey, Jaime Noble is a pitbull and I would appreciate it if you did not use my name in such a pathetic context," said Noble-Pikachu.

"You do realize you are in the body of a mouse, right?", asked Lucario.

"That was just a major error on the part of the hand. Jaime Noble is not to be mentioned in the same sentence as "The" Brian Kendrick."

"You are kidding right. I am much better than you and Kane could never own me. I was just playing with him that time; I could beat him in a matter of minutes had I been serious."

"Are you serious now?", asked Kane-Charizard standing over the Brian Kendrick-Toon Link. TBK ran away and hid behind regular Samus.

"Hahahahahah, I can see why that wimp was based on you kid Smashers, he is even more pathetic than Luigi and Jigglypuff," cackled Bowser which made Jigglypuff and Luigi angry.

"Bowser, shut up before I have my boyfriend beat your ass," said Jigglypuff.

"Not him again. Not only is he not interested in you, he is just as pathetic as the kids.," said Bowser

"Kid Smashers are not weak Bowser! We could hold our own against every person here and even beat them in a time of necessity," said regular Toon Link.

"Honestly I kind of doubt that. I can tolerate Master Hand being an idiot with mental problems, but letting little kids fight here is deplorable. He's a deranged monster and should be removed from his position of power and be incarcerated for the rest of his life if the death penalty is not an applical punishment," said Chris Jericho-Link.

"Oh come on!! Just because the kids you deal with are for the most part feeble and need to be protected does not mean that ideaology applies everywhere. The kids here are competent fighters and as long as they act in a mature manner, I will continue to respect them," said Samus getting cheers from Ness, Red, Toon Link, Lucas, and the Ice Climbers. "Besides, Evan Bourne got his wrestling liscense at age 17 or so I heard on an ECW taping. None of you are belittling or condescending to him!"

"There is a difference between a 17 year old and a 12 year old," said Batisa-Captain Falcon.

"If that is the case, why are the 17 year olds treated like kids, similar to how the 12 year olds are treated, and not respected as adults when they show much more similarities with an 18 year old than they do with a twelve year old? And if you have the idea that 17 year olds are expected to behave like adults similar to how an 18 year old is supposed to act, what makes it so immoral to send a 17 year old to the front line, but not an 18 or 19 year old?", said Pikachu.

"Look here, most of you guys don't have any experience of being a parent! You have NO right to talk about how it feels to see your baby girl or boy grow up into an adult and the feeling that a parent has about protecting their kids!!", passionately said HBK-Mario.

"Okay, okay, lets leave this discussion for another time. For your second question Captain Falcon 2 or Batista, you don't remember who you are because you are only replicas. You were never them to begin with. Besides, I wanted you all to adapt to this place and to make that easier, I replaced the names of the wrestlers you were involved with with the image and name of the Smashers as well as myself and Crazy Hand." Master Hand received glares from almost all of the 2nd set of Smashers. "Don't give me that "I disobeyed the laws of nature" stuff. All that matters is that you are here."

"But if we were freed to take the minds of them, would they have been repressed in the subconsciouns of their own bodies? Because if so, that is a horrible fate to put anyone into regardless of their behavior," said Jillian Hall-Jigglypuff with everybody in both sets agreeing with her.

"And even though this did not turn out as was originally intended, what are we going to do with the second set of Smashers? We cannot possibly keep them here along with us, and it would be immoral to send them out on their own," said Fox.

"Well, I can purchase them a bunch of houses in one of the small Animal Crossing towns and they can live their lives there. The villagers would be accostumed to it as they are used to dealing with exat replicas of iconic people inbetween multiple towns," suggested Master Hand.

"That is perhaps the only smart thing you have said this entire day," said Big Show-DK. "But where are we going to stay until then?"

"Here of course!!", said Master Hand which made all of the Smashers groaned. "Oh come on! The mansion is great and we have not gotten to the best part of this particualr day, the discussion of the new tier list!!"

"Their are two versions of very pissed off fighters here and you want to talk about some stupid tier list? Orton was right, you are a psychotic mental patient," said Edge-Marth.

"Hey, the tier list is one of the most interesting times of the half-year. And you will find it very surprising and strange assuming you have knowledge on which member of your group is a mid/low/high carder.

"I probably won't take this list seriously if I am not in the top 5, but I have nothing better to do so I'll listen anyway. I assume it will be based on some realism?", asked Mark Henry-Bowser.

"Well, lets just say that--" Master Hand saw Crazy Hand ripping up the tier list. "CRAZY HAND!!! Why on Earth are you ripping up the tier list?!?"

"I just wanted you to go "CRAZY HAND!!!!!!". Hahahaha." Crazy Hand saw Master Hand was going to hurt him and ran away as fast as he could. Master Hand gave chase and the 74 Smashers were left on their own.

"Now that the hand is gone, I want to debate is why kids need to be protected so much. They should be treated like weaker adults in my opinion. Seriously, if they broke the laws of my koopa reign, I would not build them their own special prisons but instead be sending them to the adult prisons or giving them the death penalty if they deserved it," coldly said Bowser.

"Kids NEVER deserve the death penalty!!" said Beth Phoenix-Samus. "You deserve the death penalty more than they do!!"

"Bowser, I may be on your side of the debate, but couldn't you have said that in a less disgusting and callice manner?", asked Samus.

"Sorry Samus, but Bowser said what most of y'all were too coward to say. Them kids don't deserve free education or free health care or their own special set of victimization rights or youth sports programs. If they are born in a crap home, then that is their own dang fault and-" rambled DDD before Triple H-Snake punched him in the face. "Why do you know what king y'all are messing with?"

"The one who is about to get the crap kicked out of him," said John Cena-Ike as most of the group of his Smashers surrounded Dedede, Bowser, Wario, and the now waking up Ganondorf.

"Ha, you puny versions of our enemies and their friends do not scare the King of All Evil."

"Shut up Ganondorf!! And where did the other Smashers in our group go to anyway?", asked Bowser

"They said the boiling tensions in the room due to the debate were going to get out of hand and they left you guys to get beaten up," said Kelly Kelly-Peach.

"Hey, why am I-a going to get-a beat up? I did not-a say anything bad about-a the kids," whined Wario.

"They basically just wanted us to beat you up as well. Plus they told us you run sweatshops which honestly disgusts even me and I kicked two old men who did not even wrestle in the ****ing skull," said Randy Orton-Wolf. The WWE Smashers closed in on the four as they prepared to dish out some pain.

* * *

Glad this chapter is over. I must point out that the WWE Smashers are still in alternate bodies of the regular Smashers. They have replicated personalities of the WWE wrestlers. Though in this chapter, they were mostly out of kayfabe and the debate on children is how I would have imagined how ANYBODY with a real world personality would have responded. They will be in kayfabe more in the next chapter as they go over the tier list. The second chapter will most likely be longer than this one as I try to give the 74 plus the abscent Squirtle and Ivysaur as well as Master Hand and Crazy Hand some screen time.

Some of the matches between the smashers and wrestlers were very odd. I'll try to explain them:

Mario to Shawn Micheals: They are both the A listers of their respective groups. Honestly Shawn Micheals was kind of hard, but I think this match is passable.

Luigi to Santion Marella: They are both cowardly. That is pretty much what I based it on.

Peach to Kelly Kelly: Pretty blonds. Though I will admit I was not that interested in the female Smashers/Diva combinbation probably because the divas are FAR less significant to the WWE than the men. Divas are to Superstarsin the WWE as R.O.B. is to Link in fanfiction.

Bowser to Mark Henry: This is based on how they basically use their weight and mass in almost all of their attacks. Though I did speculate having Bowser as the Big Show or The Great Khali.

DK to Big Show: Big Show is much more agile that Mark Henry and he incorporates more strikes with his arms than Henry does. Similar to Donkey Kong and Bowser.

Diddy Kong to Kofi Kingston: They are both aerially inclined and fast. King often refers to Kofi as a "controlled frenzy" and that almost fits Diddy Kong to a tee.

Yoshi to Vickie Gurerro: Vickie is a big, but somewhat lovely beast.

Wario to Mike Knox: These guys have NO similarities with each other. The problem here is that Wario is an aerial, heavy guy who is MUCH smaller than his fellow heavy weights. Who in the WWE matches that? The only thing I could come up was that Wario, as opposed to most of the other Smashers, could be the jerky villian that picks on the little kid Smashers. Similar to Mike Knox picking on Rey Mysterio.

Link to Chris Jericho: To be fair, they don't have much if any similarities. The biggest difference between them is that Link never talks or only talks when necessary in fanfiction (if he is not a main character) while Jericho talks practically every week (though I love his promos) often for 5-10 minutes at a time. This paring is based mainly on me having the main eventer pretty boys (at least compared to the rest of the main eventers in WWE) be in Ike, Link, and Marth's bodies.

Zelda as Michelle McCool: I don't really care about her. I will be surprised if I give her more than one line of dialouge in this fanfic.

Ganondorf as Undertaker: There was a debate on whether or not he would be Kane or Undertaker. Ganondorf seems to be a better Kane than Undertaker. Undertaker is more like a vessel of evil doing the devil's work while Ganondorf is an egomaniac hell bent on rulling the world. Ganondorf was ultimately choses as Undertaker mostly on the fact that Undertaker is MUCH more similar to Ganondorf than Charizard.

Toon Link as the Brian Kendrick: They are both blond, small, kid-ish (in comparison to their respective rosters), and weak. They don't share even remotely similar personalities, but they probably share the most similar physical build between the two except for Big Show and DK lolz. I did think about having Ganondorf as Ezekial Jackson, but that would be pretty stupid in the opinion of my readers.

Zero Suit Samus as Beth Pheonix: Both are strong capable women. Well, Beth Pheonix is the closest thing to that in the WWE except for Gail Kim, but I wanted the Glamarella dynamic in the fanfic. Honestly, NO woman in the WWE or TNA for that mater does Samus any justice, but I actually did care about this matchup as opposed to the other ones for the females.

Pit as Christian: I did think about Jack Swagger being Pit, but Christian matches the cuteness of Pit better.

Ice Climbers as Tyson Kidd and Natalyia: They were the best man/woman pair in the WWE that did not look too distinctive from each other (probably because Kidd is pretty short)

R.O.B. as Vladimir Kozlov: Vladimir Kozlov, kayfabe wise, has less of a soul than R.O.B., and R.O.B. is a robot. Plus, Kozlov is refered to as a cold war cyborg so they were the only sensible match.

Meta Knight as Rey Mysterio: They are both masked, short, fast, and are hispanic (MK was in the Kirby anime).

Kirby as Evan Bourne: The guy is quite Similar to Rey Mysterio like Kirby is to MK.

Dedede as JBL: Despite JBL getting fired, I had to put him as DDD because the match is probably the best I am going to get for Dedede. And I will make distinctions between Dedede monarch tryanny personality and JBL's arrogant, however, american businessman personalities.

Olimar as Finlay: Olimar, aside from Bowser, is the only parent in Brawl, and Finlay, kayfabe wise, is the only person to have regular interaction with their son on the show. Only sensible matchup for the two of them.

Fox as John Morrison: They both do a lot of kicking. And they are the most clean shaven of their respective rosters.

Falco as MVP: It was either between him or Shelton Benjamin. Shelton has a similar feel to Falco, but MVP has a similar confidence of Falco. Falco is known for his cocky attitude so MVP was the better fit IMO.

Wolf as Randy Orton: Ruthless ego maniacs with no regard for anybody else except for the people in their groups.

Ike as John Cena: This pairing was just natural. Both of them are masculine pretty boys (John Cena has muscles, but he is not like Batista who looks ugly imo). Radiant Dawn Ike and Cena would have been a PERFECT match except for the fact that Cena is loud and boistress while Ike is apathetic.

Marth as Edge: None of the wrestlers look as feminine as Marth, but both of them have a somewhat similar contrast to Cena and Ike.

Lucas as Jeff Hardy: Blond guy who has someone in their rosters related to them.

Ness as Matt Hardy: Dark haired guy who has someone in their rosters related to them.

Pikachu as Jaime Noble: I want to make fun at Jaime Noble dealing with the fact that he is in the body of a mouse.

Jigglypuff as Jillian Hall: Both love to sing.

Lucario as CM Punk: Lucario honestly looks like the most well trained Smasher in his roster next to Meta Knight. Same thing with CM Punk except no one in the upper card/main event looks more versed in martial arts than him. Not so sure about the other cards.

Charizard as Kane: Charizard is the only character that has a lot of fire based attacks. Kane utilizes fire moreso than the other wrestlers other than Undertaker. Though Mewtwo from Melee would have been great as a Kane if only because of his laugh.

Why Pokemon Trainer, Squirtle and Ivysaur are not represented: I honestly could not find anybody for Ivysaur and Squirtle to matchup with. Pokemon Trainer should be obvious why I made him a jobber.

Captain Falcon as Batista: Both have large muscles, and.........................I really wanted to make Batista a bottom tier character. He sucks. XP

Snake as Triple H: Both are badass and have a beard.

Sonic as The Miz: Both are very annoying. This is honestly my least favorite match, but Sonic had to be someone. Unfortunately, no one does Sonic justice in terms of speed. Even Mysterio is only comparable to Charizard when it comes to running speed.

Mr Game & Watch as Ric Flair: They are old and have senority over the rest of their respective rosters.

It will be a while before I get done with the second chapter, but R&R and give me suggestions on how to improve my writing.


	2. Chapter 2

The next chapter will come out when the new tier list comes out. I changed a few of the characters (ones that were not mentioned in the story mostly) to more appropriate fits. Super Smash Bros. or the trademarks of the WWE do NOT belong to me. They belong to Nintendo and the McMahon family respectively.

* * *

Most of the first set of Smashers came back into the meeting room to see that everyone left except Kane-Charizard, Mark Henry-Bowser and Undertaker-Ganon, Knox-Wario, and Kozlov-R.O.B. standing in a far corner of the room and Ganondorf lying unconscious on the floor.

"I theorize that there is a high probability that Wario, Bowser, and Dedede left the confines of this room in an attempt to escape the onslaught of pain being unleashed on them by our WWE counterparts," said R.O.B. in his monotomc voice.

"We figured that much bucket brain." Ness then walked over to the unconscious Ganondorf. "But I wonder why they left the king of all faliure to rot?"

"They left him since they were unable to inflict anymore mental anguish on him due to him being knocked out," remarked Kane-Charizard.

"You guys didn't bother to do anything more to this idiot?", asked Sonic.

"I'm not participating in a match with him and he is not bothering me, so I don't see any reason why to mess up that fool anymore," said Henry-Bowser.

"Still, I don't feel comftorable leaving him there. I think I should heal him," suggested Peach.

"Don't, I woul like to be in an enviroment where I am not heckled for being a pretty boy teen swordsman every once in a while," said Link.

"Hmph, being achknowledged as a kid, or pretty boy teen swordsman in your case, amongst your peer group is an consequence you have to deal with for being a young guy surrounded my older men boy," said Henry.

"Being called a kid is much different than being made fun of for our age and appearance," said Ike.

"Stop whining. Besides, you can't be made fun of as much as flat piece over there," said Henry pointing to Mr. G&W.

"Almost no one here makes fun of him as he is almost unnoticable. Trust me, when two of your 4 friends are homosexual, you WILL be heckled by everyone else," said Link

"(Wrong, you kids don't make insolent gestures at me becuase I will unleash my ****ing turtle on you *****es if you all get out of line and you better get with the program quickly you clone of that, crappier than my own turtle, turtle or you will be in some deep ****!!)"

"That thin punk can't talk?", asked Henry.

"Nope, he just makes beeping noises all of the time," replied Zelda. G&W beeped loudly at Zelda's comment.

"Honestly, my cuttie here and I don't really care about all of those comments mean old Ganon calls us. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," said Pit.

"I should have shoved that crystal in your face instead of the kid with the Elvis hair. Do you seriously beleive you will get respect by reciting a phrase from the times of elementary school recess?", said Knox-Wario.

"A lot of my friends here have already accepted me and Marthie for who we are. Right guys?", asked Pit.

"No," said every smasher except for Peach, Ike, Marth, Link, Samus and Zelda.

"Huh? Why not?", asked Pit.

"Maybe because you are a weak and helpless *****," said Orton-Wolf coming into the room with Show-DK, Cena-Ike, HHH-Snake, Bourne-Kirby, and Edge-Link.

"Look here whoever's personality occupies that Wolf body, but don't talk about my lovable angel-", but Marth was cut-off as Orton-Wolf punched him in the face and knocked him out.

"Marth!", said a teary eyed Pit as he ran to his lover's side.

"Look-a here, you need to-a calm down. We don't go attacking each-a-"

"Save it Mario!! I am already pissed off enough as it is due to the situaion at hand, but having to listen to this pathetic excuse of a fighter just made me sick!!", yelled out Orton.

"You do realize that you have not actually seen or experienced Pit in a match?", said Lucas.

"Are you seriously telling me that this kid can actually fight well? Just looking at him makes me doubt his skill. Don't even get me started on how his personality makes me judge him," said Orton.

"Pit is presently listed as a high tier on the Master Hand official tier list version 1.0, which would indicate that he is of above average skill in combat," said R.O.B.

"Please tell me that the Hand is mentally challenged? I cannot beleive that a crybaby in that rediculous outfit is actually considered a contender in this tournament? Him being in high tier actually makes me doubt all of your guys' skills," said Big Show-DK.

"Your judging Pit's abilities entirely on his personality. Don't you think you need a different way on how to find out about his combat skills?", suggested Samus.

"To be honest, from where we come from, all of the people in the uppercard/main event except for the dark and gruesome Undertaker over there don't have a rediculously annoying or gimmicky personality. We are actually relatable to our fans in a sense. The angel isn't on the other hand," commented HHH-Snake.

"Almost half of the Brawl roster isn't even human. Pit is more relatable than a lot of us," said Diddy Kong.

Ness walked over to Pit who was still huddled over his boyfriend. "Pit, is Marth okay man?"

"He's not......" Pit then turned his head to Orton-Wolf. "You'll pay for hurting Marth!!" Pit then ran over to him and threw a punch at the Wolf, but he just caught it.

"Pathetic." Orton-Wolf then squeezed his claws into Pit's arm, causing him to scream in pain. Pit, thinking quickly, fell on his back, pressed his legs against Orton's stomach and flung him into the wall on the other side of the room. Orton got up from the floor, seething. "I am not going to have any sympathy for you. I will leave you lying on the floor like I did to-"

"If you are going to say Stephanie, then I would reconsider that before I come over there and break your neck," threatened Snake-HHH. Pit then walked over to HHH and got in his face.

"That piece of crap........is MINE!!!!", said Pit assertively.

"Let me fill you in on my situation with that piece of crap over there angel. He not only RKO'ed my WIFE, but he also DDT'ed her and sealed it off with a kiss. I have MORE of a right to kick his ass then you do considering I have known him for FAR longer than you have," said HHH.

"Hmph! You should have killed him when you walked in through the door with-", but HHH shoved Pit out of the way as he caught Orton jumping at them and gave him a spinebuster. Unfortunately, HHH shoved Pit into DK-Big Show who threw Pit into HHH-Snake. Orton-Wolf got up and started stomping on the two downed fighters.

"Are you two just naturally pissed off at anything that gets on your nerves?", asked Pikachu.

"If you get in my way, you best be prepared to get punished. Be lucky he did not get hit with my knockout fist." He was then hit with a turnip.

"And you better know what is good for you if you decide to hurt my friends." Peach then ran over to Orton and hit him in the back of the head with her golf club. Orton got up from that blow and began to approach Peach, seething mad, but was blocked by Mario and Link.

"You are not-a touching my Peach," stated Mario. Orton-Wolf simply slapped him in the face, which lead to him being tackled by Link and Mario. They began to tussel on the floor. Triple H was meanwhile recouperating from the assualt and starring at Show-DK.

"Hehehe....you are seriously going to regret that monkey."

"Don't call me that. I should be a human like the Big Show I am based on. And besides, I don't see you carrying out your idle threats-", he stopped himself mid-sentence as he saw Pit running towards him. Pit jumped up to do a flying dropkick, but show just swatted Pit's legs with his massive arms. Samus fired a charge shot at Show before he could attack Pit. "Woman, why are you attacking me? I did not even do anything to you."

"Pit's a good friend of mine, so I don't want to see him getting hurt. But furthermore, everyone here needs-", but HHH and Pit jumped Show before she could finish. ".....to stop fighting. Pikachu, could you-"

"No problem Sammy." Pikachu then summoned a huge thunderbolt which hit the roof of the house. The bolt knocked out the power for the mansion, which got the attention of everyone in the mansion, including those who were fighting.

"Wow, remind me never to get on the bad side of that Pikachu mouse," commented Edge-Link.

"I wonder if Jaime Noble, in his new body, could summon that kind of power?", wondered Bourne-Kirby.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" That was a scream coming from somewhere else in the mansion. Most of the people there were startled by the scream.

"Is it-a safe to come out-a now?", asked Luigi who was hiding behind Mark Henry-Bowser. The latter simply threw Luigi into the middle of the room. "Oww! I was-a just hiding from-a the thunder."

As everyone was distracted, Lucario, using his aura senses, caught someone grabbing Peach's golf club and heading over to attack Pit. "I would not do that if I were you," suggested Lucario. The figure just "hmphed" at Lucario and raised the club to strike Pit, but Samus used her grappling beam to pry the club away from the attacker.

"What on Earth-", but he receive a punch to the face by Pit, who just found out about the malicious intentions of the figure, before he could finish. He stood there looking unphased. "Can't the puny angel actually hurt the King of Evil without using his bow?" The lights came back on to reveal it was Ganondorf.

"Wow Ganny, when did you get up?", asked Sonic.

"About a minute ago. Now be quiet while I destroy the angel for his pitiful attempts at self-defense." Ganondorf then through a punch at Pit, but he ducked and tackled the man. Of course, Pit was small compared to Ganondorf, so Ganondorf wasn't actually moved by Pit's attempt to overthrow the heavier man. Ganon delivered a hammerfist onto Pit's back which caused him to fall onto the floor in pain.

"Hehehehehehehe, I am not done with you yet." He picked up Pit and lifted him in over his head. Pit managed to slip out of Ganon's grasp. He went behind Ganondorf and grabbed him by his waist. Pit fell backwards and used that momentum to toss Ganondorf through a nearby wall (A German Suplex basically). The wall seperated the hallway the two were in and the cafeteria. The resulting hole revelaed everyone who was not present earlier, including the two hands and Red's other two Pokemon.

"Wait, you guys are eating and you didn't invite me?", asked Kirby.

"These Waddle Dees made this food for us as a token of JBL's kindness," said Kelly Kelly-Peach.

"And we could not find you guys, so we just went to the kitchen and digged into some grub after restraining Crazy Hand," said Falco-MVP.

"Wait, wait a minute, JBL was actually kind to somebody?", asked Edge-Link.

"Shut up Edge! I could not stand to see these.....things enslaved by that fat, dictorial penguin. So I hired all of them to work for me, and in exchange, would find them housing after housing was situated for us WWE guys. They decided to cook up this meal by their own accords though."

"Uhh, I thought you were a villian in wrestling, Mr. JBL", wondered Lucas.

"Well son, I may be a heel, but I absolutely cannot STAND slavery of any kind. People deserved to be compensated for their work."

"Well with that answered, why did you guys stop beating up those dumb as **** villians?", asked Snake.

"Well you see, it is a little embarising-" began Shawn Micheals-Mario.

"We owned all of them," gloated Bowser while high fiving Wario and Dedede.

"Wait, ALL of you could not take on those three?", asked Link.

"Oh-a give us a break. We can't-a fight as you people. We can only fight with-a the techniques we know, but they are kinda useless against fatzilla, the slave driver, and-a smelly business man over-a there," whined Santino-Luigi.

"Wait, who are those two things?", asked Orton-Wolf pointing at Squirtle and Ivysaur.

"They are my two Pokemon," answered Red. He then turned to his two Pokemon. "Why didn't you guys come get us when you reunited with the hands?"

"Well some stuff happened like the lightning and restraning Crazy like that MVP clone of Falco said." Why are their two of everybody except for me and Ivysaur?", ask Squirtle.

"Basically, the foolish hand delving into the business of souls. They are a precious force that shouldn't be tampered with by the likes of those with less than adequate perception on them," said Undertaker-Ganon.

"Wow, I would have never expected that guy to talk. But I want to know what is this about restraining Crazy Hand?", asked Link.

"Red, Link, I can answer your guys questions," said Master Hand. "My brother and I met up with the two Pokemon when we went back for another copy of the tier list. But we saw the fighting between all of these guys and tried to break it up."

"Which me and my fellow villians won by the time dem der hands showed up," bragged Dedede.

"Anyhow, continued the Hand. "We got around to healing all of them and were beginning to come back to the meeting room, but then some lightning took out the power. By brother went hysterical after this and screamed. He fled to the kitchen where we all managed to subdue him. Then we saw this incredible meal the Waddle Dees cooked up for us. Not ones to waste good food, we chowed down while the power was still out. Then a minute after the lights came up, we saw Ganondorf being thrown thret the wall and then-"

"We know what happened after that," interrupted Pit. "Mentioning Ganondorf by the way, could you heal him and Marth? I got so carried away when that jerk Orton punched out my love. Ganondorf just happened to be the victim of my tirade."

"What happened to Ganondorf and why did Orton punch Marth out?", asked the hand.

"If I had to guess, Orton was being a jerk," said Mysterio-Meta Knight, glaring at Orton. "Now please heal them."

"Okay." Master Hand snapped his fingers and Ganondorf and Marth rose from the ground all healed up.

"Angel, don't think you proved anything. I underestimated your strength due to you looking like a weak little boy, but I won't make that mistake again," proclaimed Ganondorf as he was getting up from the rubble.

"Wait, hold up a minute! Sensetive, shrimpy boy threw big bad dumbass through a wall?", asked MVP-Falco.

"Well....yeah. But I was angry at my love being punched. I am so glad he is okay," said Pit.

"I am okay Pit, but what you did was awesome. Ganondorf did deserve someone to knock him down a couple pegs. Now give Marthy a kiss," told Marth as he ran over to Pit and began to lip lock with them.

"Oh, COME ON!!! I was about to give the angel props for what he did to dumbass over there, but then he had to make me naucious by making out with that girly man," complained Orton. "And you guys criticize me for my behavior!"

"I agree with you. I hate their femenimity. I would like Pit and Marth a lot more if they kept that crap in private," stated Samus.

"Okay, why don't we all go back into the meeting room to discuss the new tier list away from the current sight?", suggested Master Hand.

"A discussion about a videogame sounds MUCH better than looking at what is happening now," said HHH-Snake. Everyone agreed and started to head back into the meeting room to discuss the new tier list. The Miz-Sonic pulled Edge-Link out of the group to ask his a question.

"What do you want moron?", asked Edge-Link rather condescendingly.

"Why didn't HHH and Orton tear each other to shreads while we were gone?", asked Miz.

"They almost did, but the lightning strike Pikachu caused stopped them from fighting," noted Edge.

"Hmph," said HBK-Mario coming into the group. "Master Hand must be a real idiot for thinking us WWE guys would be more behaved than his Smashers." The Miz and Edge agreed with him. "Even taking out the fact that those crystals were a stupid idea, he couldn't even pick people more suited for the project."

"Why is that hand a leader again?", asked Edge-Link.

"Finally!", quietly yelled out Big Show-DK coming over to them. "Everyone here is beginning to realize that that hand is not fit for leadership." Big Show got some nods of approval from the three. "Lets get the others to agree with us and-"

"And what?", said Master Hand with Crazy Hand at his side.

"Crap," said the four at once.

"Lets do our patented "dodge ten lasers like your life depended on it" attack Crazy.

"Yes! With Ganon being thrown through the wall and the opprotunity to attack, this is more destruction than I am treated to for a week! It is my lucky day!", said Crazy Hand preparing for the attack.

Everyone in the meeting room overheard the destruction coming from the hallway. Master Hand quickly came over to quiet everybody.

"You guys will have to wait for a little bit before we can begin the tier list discussion." Master Hand left to finish the punishment.

* * *

Chances are the next chapter will be the longest and will have dialouge for everybody (I hope). It will be out after the tier list comes out. I don't know how quickly after it comes out, but I know you guys will have to wait until next week at **best**. R&R


	3. Chapter 3

I do not, in any way, shape, or form, own the WWE or Super Smash Bros. Brawl or their characters. Anyone who thinks so needs to finish their education.

* * *

All 72 people there presently somehow managed to fit into the meeting room where all of this started. Big Show-DK, Miz-Sonic, Edge-Link, and HBK-Mario returned to the room looking somewhat burnt with Master and Crazy Hand accompying them into the room. Master Hand was trembling with anticipation for the event.

"Finally, my Smashers and their clones will finally get to see my third addition of the tier list for Super Smash Bros. Brawl," said Master Hand, beaming with excitement.

"Wait a minute! When did-a we get-a to the third tier list? Weren't-a we on-a the first?", asked Mario.

"Well, I forgot to reveal that one to you guys." Master Hand had to dodge all of the incoming projectiles propelled at him.

"(For what ****ing reason did you not show us the ****ing second tier list you piece of ****!?!)", beeped Mr. Game and Watch.

"You had me live with being bottom tier for over a year when I could have ascended up the tier list in that time?! That is an unforgivable crime!", complained Ganondorf.

"How did you know you were moving up the list anyway? You really don't seem like something with a capable moveset," commented Mysterio-Meta Knight.

"Isn't it obvious tiny sphere, I am the strongest person here bar none. I kill people by distorting the air everytime I flex my bicep." Everyone groaned at Ganondorfs comment.

"The gay angel of all people threw you through a wall, knocking you unconscious. How you are even the second most important villian to Nintendo is a question only God can answer," yelled Orton-Wolf.

"Orton, don't you think that it is conceivable that Pit is actually a strong, capable fighter as opposed to Ganondorf being rediculously weak?", asked Ike.

"I just can't consider pretty boys to be strong, capable fighters," commented Orton.

"Uhh, your a pretty boy yourself, kid," said Kane-Charizard.

"No, I am a handsome man. Don't ever get me mixed up with a pretty boy again or-"

Kane approached Orton and stood over him. "Or you'll do what?"

"Remember, you cannot easily fight in that body since it isn't true to your body as a human. On the other hand, this anthropomorphic wolf body is quite easy to get accoustomed too. So I have a major advantage in-", but Orton was interrupted by an uppercut to the face by Kane. Orton was not really fazed by the attack. "Told you." Orton kneed Kane in the stomach with Wolf's spiked knee. Kane colapsed on the floor.

"Orton make an excellent point. We require our normal human forms," said Kozlov-R.O.B.

"This is strange, but I actually agree with Kozlov. I would be very satisfied with having my longer legs again," said Punk-Lucario.

"Furthermore, I will not tolerate having the appearance of a female. I order you to restore my proper form back so I may more effectively command respect from my peers. Do you understand what I am demand of you you disembodied hand?", said Jericho-Marth.

Tyson Kidd-Popo facepalmed. "Couldn't you have just said I agree with Punk and Kozlov?", asked Kidd to Jericho.

"Kid, what you do not comprehend is that I, Chris Jericho, am the emminient figure in the WWE. I am not a mere puppet who reiterates what others have uttered, I am the one who leads. You are only a recent acquisition for WWE, so let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am the apical talent in the wrestling business. I am the most competent, capable, and qualified person at what I do. You, as well as everyone else, will garner me the respect I deserve and-"

"SHUT UP!!! The kid was asking why you just didn't say "I agreed with Punk.". But for whatever reason, you went off tangent and began to talk about how you are better than everyone. God, you are worse than Ganondorf," yelled out Falco.

"I will not endure insults to my character in the form of comparisons of me with that blemish of the human species," stated Jericho.

"At least I am not a weak little man, and I do use that term liberally, who needs to convey his points articulately in over-extravagent speeches just to proclaim himself as a somewhat capable fighter," said Ganondorf. Almost everyone in the room had their mouthes agape.

"Ganon, when the hell did you learn "articulate", "liberal", "proclaim", "convey", and "extravagent"?", asked Bowser.

"I managed to read twenty percent of the dictionary in the time it took for that puny clone of a puny swordsman to shut up."

"Let me make myself perfectly clear Ganon, I-"

"Alright, alright! I'll give you wrestler guys your human bodies! Just make Jericho shut the hell up until I manage to get the tier list discussion started," begged Master Hand.

"SHUT UP, JERICHO!!!!!", demanded every wrestler Smasher in the room. Triple H-Snake and Henry-Bowser actually had to restrain the guy when he wouldn't comply with Master Hand's request.

"Thank you. Time to work my hand magic!" Master Hand snapped his fingers and all of the wrestler smashers were enveloped in a bright light. It took a few minutes for it to dissapate, but after it was over, all of the wrestlers looked like their normal human selves, except they had their wrestling attire on instead of street clothes.

(Author's note: I did this mainly so I wouldn't have to say Wrestler-Smasher. That was annoying.)

"Good going Hand, you were incapable of even producing simple casual attire for us," complained Orton.

"I managed to produce this look entirely from my own memory. Sue me for not seeing you regularly in non-wrestling attire," lashed out Master Hand.

"So does that have anything to do with why BOTH OF US HAVE A F***ING PENIS?!?!?!" yelled out McCool and Pheonix at the same time. Everyone laughed at them except for Pokemon Trainer, Toon Link, Ness, and Lucas who were disappointed after hearing that.

"WHAT!!", said Natalyia, Vicky, Kelly Kelly, and Jillian as they looked. They saw that they each had a penis and they gave a glare at Master Hand that could freeze hell over.

"Hahahahaha! Seriously, this is wrong....ha...on so many levels...ha...but..I...can't...hahaha....stop laughing," said Batista struggling to get that out.

"Master Hand, why did you think females had a penis?", calmly asked Zelda.

"Admittidly, I have never seen a naked woman. I assumed both sexes had the same outer organs."

"And yet you have seen a naked guy?", asked Link disturbed. "Thats assuming that you never had one yourself."

"Lets just say that Crazy Hand and I were at one point in our childhood not disembodied."

"So....you...were...at-a...one....time.....", muttered Luigi.

"Yes, two-hundred years ago, we were attached to a left-handed, 40 year old giant virgin named Carl who lived in his mothers' basement and..................could you 6 kids and Kirby leave the room for a minute?", asked the Hand.

"Why? What is so bad about this that you can't tell us?", asked Ness.

Crazy Hand flew through one of the walls into the room. "It is because Master doesn't want you and your friends to know how Carl used me to touch himself at night," explained Crazy Hand, which utterly disgusted everyone.

"Does this by any chance have anything to do with you being a psychotic maniac?", asked Big Show.

"You're mean.................................yes, yes it does," replied Crazy.

"Crazy, please tell me you wash yourself," pleaded Lucas.

"The last time I did take a bath was about 10 years ago during the 64 tournament when I was preparing for my make out session with Penny, my former girlfriend," replied Crazy.

"Wait, there are female hands that would associate themselves with YOU?", asked Edge.

"Hands? They are WAY out of my league. Penny is a sweaty penis of a football playing giant." Lucas fainted on the spot. "Wow, I knew Penny was cheating on someone when she went out on a date with me. I didn't know it was Lucas. I better buy him a apology gift." Crazy then left the room.

"What did Psycho Hand do to that kid?", asked Jeff Hardy.

"I honestly don't know. The only time I can recall that Lucas had extended interaction with Crazy Hand was when Lucas was taking the hand challenge, which involved fighting both of us, and managed to knock me unconscious. I naturally didn't know what happened afterwards. Samus, what did happen while I was unconscious?"

"Crazy Hand went into one of his psychotic episodes when the mental control you have over him broke. He hurroundeously and sadistically tortured and beat up Lucas for 9 minutes and 44 seconds straight until the 15 minute timer stopped. Then afterwards, they returned and Crazy Hand flew through the roof to initiate his plan to destroy the Nazis by flying to Jupiter to grow a planet full of corn. He would then convert all of that corn to ethonal, thus getting rid of the world's dependency on oil. He would use the money he earned to fund his movie called "Slight of Hand". He won an Oscar and was immediately immortalized in history. Then he realized he was already immortal and decided to attempt to die by-"

"Does this story have an end or at least any sense of rational thought anytime soon?", asked John Cena.

"This is Crazy Hand's recollection of the events of that day," said Samus. "Be glad he didn't force any of you guys to memorize and reiterate it verbatim."

"Why do you guys keep him here if he is a danger to everyone?", asked Cena.

"We did try enrolling Crazy in several mental help programs, but he always destroys the institution within a day," answered Fox.

"I still wouldn't keep him around with those kids here. That is honestly quite irresponsible of you," said Big Show.

"What do you expect us to do? No institution will accept him now that they know about his record, we cannot leave him on the streets due to him being mentally deficient, and the last time we tried putting him in jail, angry protestors managed to get a higher court to repeal the judge's decision on the basis of blagrant disregard for the well-being of the mentally handicapped," pointed out Meta Knight.

"Honestly, nobody should care that he is handicapped. He should be in jail anyway," said Triple H.

"None of you have the right to say anything about Crazy. You beat up on me, Dedede, and Wario for talking ill of children, but it is suddenly okay for you guys to talk about putting the mentally disabled in prison," complained Bowser.

"NO kid is nearly as dangerous or powerful as Crazy Hand," said Bourne.

"Play ONE Japanese RPG with a juvenile as the main character. I think you will quickly understand you are horribly wrong," stated Ike.

"How do video games apply to real world examples?", asked Kendrick.

"Real world? The world we live in is basically the culmination of all the memory files of the worlds of various games played on this particular Wii. EVERYONE knows that!", pointed out Link.

"And how do you guys figure this out in the first place?", asked MVP. "Because you all must be playin' for us to beleive that."

"There are an estimated 30 continents in the world as global satelitte photos would indicate. The calculations of scientists from the most technologically advanced civilizations initiated a study on ocean currents. The results from that study would indicate that the current ocean currents would lead to 88% of the world being a desert. The accepted theory of why that event does not transpire is that nature simply does not follow the widely accepted rules of science. In which case, God prevents the landscape from turning into a desert. Of course, our God cannot be omniscient since the world does not follow logic. So we can infer our diety is a child who stored our world in a digital memory file."

"That a ****ing big leap from a non omniscient god to a child's Wii," said Mark Henry.

"The reason for that assumption by scientist is because-"

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC!?!?!? I DO NOT GIVE A **** ABOUT THE NATURE OF OUR WORLD, A BOY WHO WAS TRAUMATIZED BY A DIRTY HAND, THE PAST AND FUTURE OF SAID HAND, OR YOU WOMEN HAVING PENISES. I JUST WANT ME BEING ABOVE LINK IN THE NEXT TIER LIST TO BECOME OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", yelled out Ganondorf. The room was silent. Both the Smashers and Wrestlers knew that Ganondorf was serious and was not going to take anymore crap.

"Can we at least check if Lucas is okay and fix the whole divas with a penis problem," asked Kelly Kelly.

"NO and do it quickly," ordered Ganondorf. Master Hand snapped his fingers and quickly and painlessly castrated the divas. "Thank you now lets start!"

"Okay, but I need to make an announcement concerning the wrestlers," said Master Hand.

"NO!!! WE WILL START...ugh......", was all Ganondorf could mutter before he was knocked out by a kick to the back of his head by Link.

"Continue, MH," said Link.

"(I hate my name being initialled.) Anyhow, to get all of you guys interested in the discussion, when I announce a particular Smashers position, they get the priveledge to chose their roomate out of you wrestlers," said Master Hand. There were a lot of groans.

"I don't like the idea of roommates. Can't you just magically build enough rooms to accomodate the wrestlers?", asked Lucario.

"I could do that, but since I don't have a degree in architechure, the new areas of the mansion I would have magically created might collapse on itself," pointed out the hand.

"That....acutally makes logical sense coming from you," complemented Shawn Micheals. "Still though, can't we choose who we room with ourselves?"

"No! All of us had our rooms for at least a year. I don't mind the idea of rooming with you guys, but we should choose who we room with," said Ness.

"What happened to "Mi casa es su casa"?" asked Mysterio.

"I have a practical reason for not letting you guys choose. You guys clearly have a hierarchy in wrestling. This is a problem regardless of how I let you guys choose. On one hand, I could let the main eventers choose first, but I do not agree with the idea of entitlement based on prestiege due to the whole idea of my game being based on characters from the Nintendo universe coming together on an equal plane. Though I could of had let you guys choose your roomate when the smasher you correspond to is announced, but the main eventers would whine that they are not being entitled to their fair shake in the event that they are low on the list. And ANYONE who watches WWE knows you guys whine a lot." Most of the Smashers nodded their heads in agreement at this. "This way, all of you have an equal chance to get a favorable roomate."

"Hand, it does not make any sense that I would be on an equal plane with.....Jaime Noble or Evan Bourne or The Brian Kendrick or Jeff Hardy," said Edge.

"Edge, I AM a main eventer and I am also a former World Heavyweight Champion," pointed out Jeff Hardy.

"One, Khali held that championship as well. Two, given your past, you could be gone by the next Wrestlemania. Finally, I am a NINE time Champion. I have held the title more than half of the wrestlers here combined," asserted Edge.

"Edge, you never had a title reign-a even a third as-a long or good as-a that of JBL's or Cena's," said Mario.

"It feels nice to be acknowledged for my excellent title reign," said JBL. "But all that aside, I REFUSE to be chosen as a roomate by these people. I can't barely stand most of them!"

"Do you actually like any of us?", asked Pikachu.

"..............that Ike guy. He sems hard working, respectful, smart and not completely irratating," replied JBL.

"Wow...thanks. And I have a solution that will be fair to most of us. Master Hand simply buys all of you guys hotel rooms as he prepares long term plans," suggested Ike.

"WHAT!!! I do NOT have the money to give every wrestler a hotel room for the time needed to give them a home," yelled out Master Hand.

"Look Master Hand, you brought them into this world under rather idiotic circumstances; it is pretty irresponsible to think about a tier list before our present predicament. All because you made a crystal to be used for control over us because we are loud, obnoxious, and most of the time, out of control," said Ike.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest, you guys don't act so roudy and out of control like this hand claims," pointed out Finlay.

"This is because we are currently in the off-season for the tournament. Us Smashers are EXTREMELY competitive, to the point of disregard of safety, except for of course, the less violent of us Smashers like Peach, Marth, and Lucas," said Samus.

"Anyway....you are the one who created them, and you need to give them what they need to succeed. Why do you think there are MANY child laws in the first place? ANY intelligent person here KNOWS that you would have made them stay here long term." Ike's statement was met with a lot of "WHATS"!?!.

"You planned on keeping us here for Lord knows how long!?", screamed Vicky.

"Of course not, of course not," said Master Hand in a panicked state. "I don't know where Ike got that idea from."

"I got it from common sense. Do you know HOW expensive it is for people who need to eat everyday to take up residency in an Animal Crossing town given their food costs, let alone the costs of housing? You probably would have made them stay in this mansion forever to save money, assuming you just did not get rid of them from existance completely."

"Okay who do all of you beleive, me or idiot Ike?" Everyone unamimously said Ike.

"I can actually see your heart rate, and by result, your body temperature rising. If Ike was lying, you would have scoffed at his idea and not have had a sudden increase in heart beats. He IS right," commented Samus.

"Uhh.....FINE!! It is all true as far as making all of you wrestlers staying here forever. Not the erase you guys from existance crap; I cannot BELEIVE any of my own Smashers even CONCEIVED that notion. But what else could I do to take care of you wrestlers?"

"You could just finance a ****ing Nintendo-brand WWE program," suggested Snake.

"Wait, wait, you Nintendo guys don't get WWE here. Why do you know so much about us then?", asked John Morrison.

"There was actually support for the WWE back in the N64 and Gamecube days. That support died since Yukes cannot even provide us a decent game for the Wii, damn motion controls. We only know about current affairs since we also get television from Snake's world," pointed out Wolf.

"Then how did he find other versions of wrestlers to clone from us if this world does not have WWE on it," asked Bourne.

"You dang idiot. He is a god for Pete's sake, traveling between worlds is a piece of cake for him," said Dedede condensendingly.

"Well, there are many legal issues to deal with in regards to this plan. For starters, the established WWE will have a field day with me," complained Master Hand. Then, Crazy Hand crashed through another part of the wall. "CRAZY HAND!!!!!!!"Crazy ignored his brother and went over to Lucas and started to poke him.

"Uh, uhn.........CRAZY!!!!", screamed Lucas shocked.

"Hey little buddy, for an I am sorry gift for horribly owning you 5 months back and making you faint earlier today, I got you the exclusive permission from the WWE to start a new branch over here in the Nintendo world," said Crazy Hand. Everyone was pretty shocked.

"Uhh..uh..wow...thanks," said Lucas puzzled

"You could have procured any reconciliation gift of your choosing for the boy, and you got him permission from the WWE to start a new Nintendo branch of WWE?," asked Chris Jericho. "And at this point, I don't care about any of your pitiful desires to see me silent, before any of you ask."

"I really did not know what little boys would really want. I narrowed it down to either this or a castration," said Crazy Hand. Lucas screamed and ran out of the door. Everyone, even Master Hand, facepalmed.

"Can't you do something beneficial without causing someone to scream?", asked Big Show.

"Of course I can. I will let you guys know that I leaked info about the third tier list to some top SSBB player in the SBR and was compensated rather generously for the early revelation," informed the simpleton.

"**_CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_**, roared the master of the house.

"Dammit brother, you made me lose the bet with Big Show. Now I have to give the man what I earned for the tier list leak, this ball of yarn," said Crazy as he threw the yarn to Big Show. Master Hand looked utterly pissed and even Crazy Hand could tell that. "Well, I am off to stop global warming and runawayfrommybrother." Crazy Hand fled for his life as Master Hand gave chase.

"Well, I, and I would assume all of the smashers, are going to find out this new tier list instead of waiting for Master Hand to reveal it. We all wasted enough time at this meeting," said Link with agreement from everyone else.

"Well personally, I am going to eat some of the food those employies of JBL made before it gets too cold," said Triple H.

"Hey, those employes are my-"

"SHUT UP!!!", said everyone in the room at once, too tired to deal with DDD's bickering.

The Smashers left to go online and the wrestlers left to eat the food in the kitchen. The only people left in the room were Ike, an unconscious Ganondorf, and John Cena.

"Hey man, how did you find out about Master Hand having us stay here forever?", asked Cena.

"That accusation I made was a simple shot in the dark," replied Ike.

"If you were going to randomly accuse the hand of that, why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Because earlier, I was content with you guys living here. But nothing you guys did lead me to beleive you would have done anything but bicker and argue; I was not going to have any of that in the three months left of peace before the tournament resumes. And I think you guys feel even worse about the hands and Ganondorf." The two of them chuckled at the comment and left to do their seperate things.

End.

(Yes, I didn't go over the tier list, but everyone interested in seeing it would have found out about it long before now. That and I wanted to make this rendition of the Smasher world a series with multiple (unrelated) stories and I couldn't have the wrestlers staying with them. Though they will appear in future stories, I can assure you of that.)

* * *

Sneak preview for the next story in the Super Smash Chronicals:

"Evil doers beware, you will be defeated and brought to the arms of the law!"

"And we will do that by overpowering you and exploiting your flaws!"

"Because, against us, you cannot hope to win!"

"For you fate was sealed the moment you faced-"

"The Bee Minded Multiplication Twins!!!!" Ike, Bowser, and Samus were in complete and utter shock at the two superpowered kids in front of them.

"What are you boys named?", asked Samus

"Tyler and Jeffery," said both of them simataneously.

"Umm, two things: One, I know I haven't commited a crime in North America or any of the 7 RW continents, and I am quite sure that Ike or Samus here hasn't either. Second, you two are 11 year old boys with I assume to be the power to either multiply or something related to bees considering your black and yellow outfit. You really have no hope against me either way," warned Bowser.

"I think their power has to do with multiplying. If they were bee related superheroes, I would beleive they would be female, like with accordance to the main gender in colonized insects," pointed out Samus.

"We have multiplying powers; we just love bees. That and we technically are not superheroes.....yet," said Jeffery.

"The Association for the Responsible Use of Superpowers says we are both too weak to be superheroes and not old enough to work with major charities. But when we hand in you three over to ARUS, they will HAVE to let us in!", said Tyler.

"Umm, we haven't commited a crime in North America or any of the other 7 RW continents. So bringing us in would be a waste of all of our time," said Ike.

"That is not true! A non-governmental orginization filed criminal charges against you and asked ARUS to detain certain Super Smash Brothers accused of said criminal if you set foot on RW soil," said Tyler.

"You may not have commited crimes, but this is just standered for all D class or higher beings to be detained by ARUS if accused of a crime. We are just bringing you to them," said Jeffery.

"What orginization filled criminal charges against us in the first place?!" asked the three at once.

**Stay tuned for: The Discovery of New and Familiar Foes.**


End file.
